Sunday, April 1, 2012

Back to "Being Yoga"

I have come away from being yoga.  It's been a gradual thing, but over the course of the past few months, I have come to shed the shield of peace my practice has brought me in the past.  My practice moved away from being mine, and began to become "theirs".  By theirs, I don't mean my students, because they have only added to me as a yogi.  No, by theirs I mean the dollar signs others have held in their eyes, the expectations, the criticism, the judgement.  I have let those who were only supportive of me if my teaching added to their bottom line cloud my vision of My yoga.  Even my personal practice came to feel tinged with this darkness, this negativity.  It felt commercial.  This past weekend, some old friends opened their arms and welcomed me back.  A space to teach, to feel safe in, to feel wanted.  A yoga teacher could not want more than that.  I practiced tonight with that feeling of warmth.  With a vision of that space, and those people, and that place, and again I felt it.  Yoga.  Stay tuned.....